for the ghost who haunts my dreams
my teenage dream
pale and skinny emo
punk rock suburbia
the peak of my Whiteness
that reminder that I grew up
White
that I felt lost and inferior
in a sea of Whiteness
where I was taught to hate
walked out on a church
who worshiped as much as spewing hate
mocking other cultures
White superiority
White privilege Die swartes
Die groenes Die meid
Die boy
Die gopse
Die gopserige repeating the words
I heard around me
I grew out of it but White Man never did
now he’s like a mirror staring at me from the past
all masked by the self-pity
thinking Pride is an insult to God
because rainbows are holy
and They are not
his only black friends
his maid and gardener
and he calls himself poor
when he lives rent free claims he’s a victim of oppression
the guy who looks like my brother
the guy who looks like me
White Man
you are the part of me I hate the most
© 2023 Marieke de Koker
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